Am I bothering you? Is my patronage to your business burdensome to you? No? Then why do you make it so impossibly difficult to contact you when I have a question?

I understand that the internet is all the rage these days, and that you love to tout that most questions can be answered on your web site. But what about those times when I want to know something else that's not there?

Oh that's easy. Click on the "Contact Us" button. Wait a minute here. This button just takes me to a FAQ page that has nothing to do with what I want to know. I really just want to talk to a person.

Well, I finally found your telephone number for customer service. Let me call that. Hold music... English. Accounts. Punch in my SSN. Stupid phone tree. More hold music. Yes, I know that most questions can be answered by the website. I wouldn't be calling if mine could. I'm starting to get impatient.

Um, can I just talk to a person. Oap, there we go. What's that? Oh. My name is Drew. Yes I just had a question..... (I ask my question). Um. I can't really understand what you just said. (Where is this call center anyway?) I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you've outsourced.

Well, 30 minutes ago I really wanted your product/service. But right now I just kind of want to punch the guy in your company who made it so hard to get through and get a straight answer. I guess you don't need my money.

Really, is that the best you can do?